Mind over Matter

Over the years I have learned many coping mechanisms to handle trauma endured from childhood abuse by very bad people and I mean evil people. I also suffered beatings and verbal abuse from my mother. I have suffered rape as a child, young adult and even as a teen. To top it off, I have had a long term, on and off relationship with someone who is controlling, abusive and manipulative.


In this article, I hope to refer to toxic relationships of all kinds from bullying in the playground as a kid or at the hands of a horrid person as an adult because of their insecurities, jealousies and inadequacies as a person. Their attention-seeking ways and how everything bad, wrong or habits in their mind is always someone else fault, more often than not a particular person they seek to make the personification of every ill in their life.


I am married though I rarely mention it because there are no divorce courts for me and that person. Because of this, I have been the victim of their utter cruelty and manipulation. They are evil, verbally abusing me and also wiretap my phone so they can track my movements, and who I talk to.

My silence is now broken. The paranoia of their own misgivings that trigger things like, ‘I am warning you’ and ‘I want your attention all the time’ They let me recover from their mental, emotional and physical abuse and then abuse me all over again. The mental and emotional abuse usually triggers self-harm as it gets so bad but I get stronger every year that I have subjected to this horrid person and due to them being a public figure ie famous, they think there is no come back on them and that they are more deserving.


I hope to highlight that I have autism and therapy doesn’t work for someone like me. I have to find ways of fending off this person, including a restraining order from years back because people failed to realise that they cannot protect me from a person as evil as this who hides their means and it is as if butter wouldn’t melt. It is fake, they are not anything of what they make themselves out to be though their marketing states otherwise and more or less allows them to believe they are a good person when they are not. I am not alone in this and will be doing a Facebook Live video about this topic.


It is important to remember, they are the problem and you are NOT. I am sure there are millions of people, men and women and child who can relate to what I am saying about this. When someone seeks to mess with your mind and your emotions to feed their own delusions of being a well put together sort of person but they have a dark secret and that is they take all their problems out on one person and make it their lives work to make mine a hassle and to make me feel worthless, this is a bad person making my life hell and they see nothing wrong in what they are doing because it goes ignored along with the dirtbags they have around them.

Here are a few links for you all, so that you know this stuff is real and you need to help yourself and heal. Mind matters and mindfulness as well as having a good relationship with yourself is key to a harmonious life and nobody has a right to control, diminish and insult your senses.






As Always, My Darklings, Take Care


Nicolajayne Taylor Logo Final


Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s