Process – Isn’t A Therapy For Me

Therapy doesn’t work for some people and can cause more damage than it fixes. As a victim of child abuse, rape and sexual harassment, therapy that involves talking about it would and has unearthed memories I would rather have not have brought to the surface even though so-called experts and medical professionals would have people believe that what they say is a fact and not all of them specialise or give it that much thought, after all, they are following recommendations and textbook opinions.


As someone who also suffers from Sensory Processing Disorder, which is a form of autism and seeing as I am extremely high functioning, I have to devise my own relaxation and coping techniques. the type of therapy I need is one that I have devised myself through years of suffering this alone for the most part and there isn’t any medication or therapy that is recommended for adults who are diagnosed later in life. When I have isolated myself and not entirely by choice, I have had to work out what works for me when it comes to my senses. I also suffer from bipolar and this in itself adds to depression when not being able to sort myself out when I have something spinning around my head or/and having a stressful time.

So what works for me:

Low lighting and fibre-optics do help calm me and lower tension. Reading from a dark screen rather than a light one is better for my eyes. I love coloured lighting and always have liked lighting with different shapes and colours projected across a room.


Cooking food from scratch is a good way of focusing and concentrating on an activity within the moment. I also like to multi-task and cooking is a good example of that. I love cooking all manners of food types and trying something new.


Taking a hot bath with candlelight and with essential oils helps calm my stress levels, helps me relax enough to sleep or calming work on my books and blog. The hot water also helps with my sciatica and arthritis, although some would say cooling water and numbing creams work better and through putting these to the test for over a decade, I know what works for me.


Routine, I have my alarms set for 9:00am and 9:00pm. I have two cups of coffee in the morning and between them, I feed my cats. As I drink my second cup of coffee, I think about what I want to do, a theme on my blog, editing a book in process or adding to new work. I break for lunch which is usually a sandwich and a cup of tea. Then I work out what to do till dinner time, blog, editing or writing. I also do housework in between. At 9:00pm I take my meds and look to watching a program or two on the tv and then bed by 11:00pm.

Here is a video for you all to watch and I hope it helps.

Here is another that is ten minutes. I must say these don’t help me, but that isn’t to say that they won’t help others.

Anything that disrupts this routine is usually the worse thing on the planet at any given time, no matter what or who it is.

What stresses me out:

Large groups of people

Leering person and anyone trying to chat me up or flirt with me


Gossip, judgmental people

People who won’t take no, stop or don’t for an answer

My back pain

Lack of productivity

Cold weather

A break in routine

My period

Inconsiderate people

Being on my own


I like alone time and spend a lot of time on my own, it isn’t by choice as I don’t want to be with someone just for the sake of not wanting to be on my own or have people visit just for the sake of it. I like particular people and there are very few people I like as people, I don’t care about who they are to me whether they’d be an acquaintance, friend or family.


Sex is something I find hard to endure and not just with anyone, I need to be able to trust that person, and never mind them respect me, I need to be able to respect them and these elements of a social situation are learned and earned. Compassion and understanding is also a must when I chose to open myself up to a person in an intimate situation and not just with anyone either, I don’t do one night stands or dial a shag. When I was younger, I spent a year or two letting go and it led to a very horrible situation that traumatised me and left me closed to most people I meet in an intimate encounter.


As Always, My Darklings, Take Care

Nicolajayne Taylor Logo Final






Word Press


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