Alone doesn’t mean Lonely

I have had a two-week break from my blog. This is because I needed some time out from the PC, social media and writing. I was burned out. I have spent around three years of non-stop writing. There has been a lot of changes in my personal life this year and between finances, love and new beginnings, it has been a different kind of challenge.


The title of this post speaks for itself. My boyfriend and I are very busy people. I have a lot of friends, massive work schedule and health problems. As some of you know, I recently had injections in my lower back and this has caused some discomfort. My writing has suffered because of this due to my chair being really uncomfortable and I am unable financially to replace it. This introduction to this blog post is kind of whiny but hopefully, by the end, you will see it has been a good place to start.


I have been seeing Hazel Eyes for over six months, we see each other most weekends but work, social lives and health have interrupted this. By the time I do see him, I feel even more strongly for him and this relationship we are building – dare I say I could be falling in love with him. Normally I wouldn’t be so patient, however, age has taught me that rushing into relationships is detrimental later on to both people and the foundations of that relationship. If you can survive the absence then you are building a less dependent and a stronger friendship with each other is allowed to flourish beneath the lust. A friendship that will hopefully survive after the lust has died down. Right now, lust is still a major factor but it is kept in check. I also think it builds an understanding between the two of you, a trust too. Spending a lot of time apart at the beginning of a relationship for most could be crippling as insecurities could get the better of oneself. Jealousy and paranoia, but for us, I think it works in our favour. We get room to breathe and when we reconvene, we have clear minds and feelings.


Absence from writing is good for the soul and recharges the batteries. I think we authors can get so caught up in our fantasy world that the drama can spill into real life. Taking a back seat, even for a couple of weeks can clear away the cobwebs and give the brain an airing. I was getting so clogged down with the details, The Ancient Ones main book and those characters that I was missing the bigger picture of The Queen of the Druids being a stand alone novel that is meant to compliment the main book, not out do it in any way. I have a clear head enough now to see this. The routine of endless hours of promotion that comes after all the writing part is done becomes tedious and monotonous, taking a small break from it allows the author to step away and when you come back, to take a look at your posters, teasers and snippets. Take a stock of the reviews and consider everything that the book has done so far and when more you could and can do.


After having a break from the PC, my back has been better and though not pain-free, the difference in posture has made some difference to sleeping, enabling me to recharge better and quicker by getting a good night’s rest. Sleep is so important to us writers and those of us with back problems. ‘I am an insomniac!’ I hear you yell at me through the PC screen. What I say to that is help yourself and be kind to your body. Caffeine is a big problem when it comes to sleep. Restrict your caffeine intake, drink water, fruit juice and for that added boost in energy, eat nuts and fruit. Tea has just as much if not more caffeine as coffee. Drinking herbal teas are a great way to calm down on the caffeine. Fizzy drinks contain caffeine too so again watch what you drink and eat. Sugar is a good way to boost energy but we need to be doing a lot of exercise to compensate for this. Still, have problems preventing you from sleeping?


Here is a list of things I have tried and tested to work.

  1. White Noise app goes at the top of the list, due to the rain sound FX that can be played at a moderate volume with the phone quite far away from the head is a top tip and one that I have found that never fails.
  2. Switch off PC, phone and all blue light sources. These are bad for keeping the brain awake. We need darkness for our brains to rest and just concentrate on keeping the body alive during sleep, instead of being subject to blue light battering that our modern devices radiate.
  3. Cut caffeine at around lunch time.
  4. get some exercise.
  5. Masturbate or have sex.
  6. Read.
  7. Stop Eating after 8 pm.
  8. Take a bath with some essential oils such as lavender, rosehip and thyme.
  9. Turn down the bed every morning so that when you get in it is cool. Turning the pillow over every now and then will also help you drift off to sleep.
  10. Sleep with one foot out of the cover. Not sure how this works but I know it to be true for me.


I like having complete down time. Shutting off from the world, watching mindless day time TV or listening to music. The moral of this blog post is to hopefully help some of you get a better nights sleep and some rest. It is okay to switch off from the world once in a while. Sleep helps us in so many ways, losing weight, depression and focus and socialising. We all need to down tools at a certain point to recharge and to allow our brains to cool off. It may not seem like you are doing a lot while on the PC but you are. Your brain is firing from all guns, you are multitasking and socialising and these are just the things we are conscious of. We as conscious beings hear, see and know things on a deeper and subconscious level that allows us to survives as an animal. We tend to forget that we are not machines and can’t go without food, sleep or love. We can’t do it all and do it all at once.


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