Most of the people who follow me on social media and in my life offline, know I am not religious in the slightest, they also know I am very respectful of those who are. I say this because some people think religion gives them a sense of righteousness to condemn others who do not share their beliefs. Society from celebrity to science tells us that we are all unique and we should celebrate this fact. In the real world, we are all different but we are also the same. We are all human. We all have bits and pieces, experiences and moments that are unique to us, but we can share so much of these things too. So why are we so ashamed of being naked, our sexuality and our love for one another as humans?
I am a free spirit, I have always been very wayward and will do, think and speak for myself and not follow the crowd. I demonstrate this part of my personality in the main character for The Curse of Mary. I am very liberal in my daily life, I like to not wear so many clothes in the summer and seeing as I live in Britain and the weather is bi-polar at best, which I suffer from. on the colder days, I wear pyjamas. On an evening out, I like wearing something figure hugging even though I am not the slimmest of people, I like having curves and so does my boyfriend, mid-thigh level in length and low cut to show off a bit of cleavage. This doesn’t mean I want someone to talk/stare at my breasts, it means I am wearing that kind of outfit because it makes me feel good. I am comfortable wearing that kind of outfit and to me, it looks good. When most people wear a revealing outfit, often people think that it is all about you, and in reality, it isn’t. It is so far away from being about you and more to do with the person who is wearing that kind of outfit. It is a statement of that person feeling good within their own skin, confident or just wanting to stay cool. All innocent reasons and at no point is it about advertising for sex or any indication that sex is playing a part.
I say this because a lot of people would say, ‘well if you wear that, expect to have someone stare at your breasts, pinch your arse or think that you are up for it.’ I say, ‘nope! I have a right to my body and the only other person who also has a right to it is my boyfriend. I will wear what I want and it has nothing to do with anyone else.’ Those people who think that it is okay to stare at your body, pinch your arse and come on to you, just because of what you are wearing is sexual harassment, degrading a human being and yes this can happen to men as well as women, and not just between heterosexual people but also within the LGBT community.
I recently saw a post with a sick child, in the shower with his father who was trying to cool his temperature. The comments this person got when the post was first made was shocking. Nobody read the facts in front of them, they needn’t click on a link or go and google to research the information. They just ignored the worded facts and just came down on the image with vengeance. Their problem was the fact the father was naked, so was the child and in the shower. What the fuck, people? What is wrong with you. This is a sick child being cared for by his father. I first saw it and thought ‘Aw, that is cute.’ So why can’t others take it for what it is instead of being a seventy thousand decibel drama queen, how about using your brain, think first then type?
We are so hung up about our bodies, our image and sexuality these days that we condemn an image just on the appearance and not the information. STOP! Nudity isn’t sexual, it is completely natural. We were all born naked, children take off their clothes in front of anyone who is present and without regard for how they look, or what danger they could be in when removing clothing in front of certain people. Parents and society, condition our children to think nudity is wrong and they are wrong for being naked when it should be taught that those people who seek to hurt children, in general, are the ones in the wrong. For those people taking that image and turning it into a sexual implication are also very, very wrong and society and parents should make a stand and say, ‘oh hell no. My child was made by my body, and that body is beautiful and isn’t for the gratification of anyone but the person I made that child with. It isn’t about sex. It is about being human.
Have you ever had a quickie with your partner, in the kitchen or maybe down a dark alley one evening? All clothes on, knickers pushed aside, boxers pulled open just to let his member out so he can enter you as he presses you, passionately up against the wall or over the kitchen counter? If not, I highly recommend it and guess what, there is no nudity, you can read my short stories, inspired by real events in The Fallen Ones, so why do we condemn nudity and not clothing?
Have you ever just thrown on an oversized T-shirt to sleep in? In the morning your partner wakes up with morning glory (and this isn’t a link to a man with his cock in of a morning. My point in giving you the link is to make you think, it isn’t all about sex and nudity), he turns to you, kisses you and then rolls on top to begin making love with you while he is still his shorts? Again, no nudity. So why are people equating nudity with sex?
My partner loves me in sexy clothes, hair and makeup done so I can flash him in certain garments or angles so he is the only one who sees, knows he is the only one who has access and when we are alone, he can do what he likes with me. We like the build up, the tease and the whole dress up and look good for each other. I am not saying this should be the way all couples are, but what I am saying is nudity isn’t necessary for a sexual situation. It is about perception and definition.
My partner wants me to be comfortable and would never tell me what to wear, he would ask me if I would wear something for his pleasure and more often than not, I will wear whatever it is he wants me too. Do you see how this works, there is a difference between being asked and being told. If you stop and think before inflicting your words on another person then we would all be more equal and respectful to one another, naked or clothed.
As an author of erotic, fantasy horror, I think about society’s perceptions of nudity, sexuality and titillation and the relationship between all these things. I guess my message for this week’s Weekly Posts is this… we are all human, we should treat each other with consideration, respect and compassion. We should treat everyone as equal and as we ourselves want to be treated.